i’ll tell you a story.


i work at a small radio station in the country. it’s not howard stern or anything, but it’s honest work i think. you may think it is some kind of glamorous position like editor or host or something, but for now they’ve got me operating the big red “on air” sign, nothing else. sometimes i think that the others laugh behind my back, and think that i am not important. one day we noticed strange noises coming from the building. we tried to follow it to the source, but it led us in circles round and round the studio. some dust fell from one of the ceiling tiles, and we determined the strange noise could be coming from the ceiling. they said “well, go on then, see what it is.” i took a broom and reluctantly poked it up into the ceiling tile a few times, and with the third push the ceiling crumbled with a loud crash. down fell a strange and terrifying figure, a slender gray creature. he hit the recording desk and was hurt by one of the microphone stands. he flailed about wildly, thrashing his limbs into the equipment, knocking it over, hurling cables toward us, screeching as some otherworldly creature. i ran out of the room after everyone else had cleared, but the creature followed. we threw the shelves down behind us but he leapt over them and skittered through the halls after us. the others at the radio station got to the big metal doors at the end of the hall, and to my horror, closed them before i could get there. i slammed into the door, but the pushbar wouldn’t move. i turned from the door and there before me stood the menacing gray creature. i prepared to meet my end, to be torn apart or thrown into the wall or eaten, i did not know. he approached, and leaned his head forward to meet mine. he spoke in a strange little voice with great speed. “hello hello hello i’m sorry for scaring you hello!” we became friends that day. he took over the radio station, and is fascinated by my “on air” sign. turns out i’d much rather spend time with him than the assholes at the radio station.